Queer Reyapot (Yes, there's more)

Last week, I realized something strange about me (yes, I know, I am also surprised, that there are more queerness in me than I can ever imagine). I am very much aware that I am a very emotional person. And that I sometimes (okay, fine, always) think ahead of myself. This was confirmed by my dear friend; and this sometimes gets me into trouble with him. We end up having a misunderstanding because of my wild imagination and advanced thinking. Anyway, I have this new queer habit. Yes, it is already a habit. Because I realized that I have been doing it for the last five months. There is this certain person that I am not sure how exactly I am feeling for her. Yep, you read that right, "her", meaning its a "she". Opps, don't get me wrong, I am not a lesbian alright?? I am straight. I am a woman. A lady. When I say I am not sure how exactly I am feeling for her, what I really mean about feelings is, I am not sure if I am mad of her. Or if I should envy her. Or if I should pity her; sympathize with her; or empathize with her. These mixed emotions is not really what I find strange about me. I think these mixed emotions are normal for me to feel for her. You know what's strange? Everytime I meet new people, specifically ladies, I always see them as her! They all look like her! Though I know that it is not her, but I always see things to these ladies that I would associate with her. What is more stranger than that? Geez..